Sunday, December 31, 2006
6:17 PM

BLAH :D watched wrestling w my bro yesterday night.........











































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Ah well, went breakfast w relatives and friends (:

BREAKOUT PARTY TONIGHTTTTTTT :D





chongs.













the chongs made me do some faces which are so silly gosh. there are more embarassing ones i shant post :x i kept laughing cos i dont know what face they wanted me to do.. AND THEY LAUGHED AT ME ALSO LOL :x



























... you get the drift, wen say she like my face when its sad sad.. HAHAHA so funny.











loveeeeeeeeeeee yay.



went t church for service, i was like almost dozing off when pastor was talking LOL ): so tired please.





Okay, TODAY WAS AWESOME OKAY! Pastor prayed individually for each of us to receive the Holy Spirit.. When it was my turn; i fell.. tears started jerking uncontrollably out of no where and i was like crying horribly can; though its more like mourning, and i was trembling very violently.. At that point of time, there was so much emotions and feelings - much which words can describe but there was angst, sadness and sorrows.. fear of dejection and everything; THE FEELING WAS AWFULLY AWFUL.. i was trembling w fear. The thought of my brother and of my personal life.. it was simply too much for me. Then God spoke, He said t me; "why do you have t try so hard to be someone you're not to please others? you dont have to try so hard, you alr have it in you. Dont let the fear of dejection change you to become someone you are not.." wa, i was very shaken by this okay! still tears came rolling down alongside the trembles, suddenly there was this calm and serene peace w so much love......................... it was so wonderful and amazing. I know the Holy Spirit lives in me and it was indeed the manifestation of the HS (: GOD IS GREATLY AWESOME LAHHH, HALLELUJAH!

Then i was thinking.. Yes, sometimes i try so very hard to please people and yet they never once appreciate it.. I feel so discouraged when they dont appreciate it, that's where the dejection comes in and i feel so out of place. I try t change myself t feel appreciated, to feel in place, to feel that i've something t live for, to feel i've got people t accept me; but i stand corrected in all these ways. Why do i try so hard to please all my choir members? Why do i try so hard to make things right when they arent supposed to be? Why do i have to change myself to feel accepted and appreciated? Yes, the question is WHY.. I dont have to do any of that, i have it in me.. I can just be myself and please others all the same.. I wanna be the joy and blessing of others (:
Thank God for speaking this word so clearly to me :D

Haha, for some may be wondering; Wa I didnt know Crystal w feel so dejection leh! She always seem so happy and cheerful, she dont look like she got a problem............. i get that all the time. hahahah! But it's hard lah.. My blog just potrays my public life; my personal life is really complicated and screwed up at times cos of somethings that happened afew days back :\ Oh well, life goes on! :D

Watched this show on channel 8 last night [hur, crystal watches chinese shows] LOL* i read the english subtitles lah =x About this male ghost and some female. I think it's a chinese version of "Ghost" by Demi Moore. Awww it was real sweet and touching i teared like alot okay ): The girl tell him that she likes him but sadly he has to "cross over" alr and it was so dramatic lah pftttt ): Oh and wrestling was great! Havent watched it for afew years alr but it was great, gosh i feel so sadistic when watching wrestling ): HOW CAN I REJOICE OVER SOMEONE'S PAIN AND AGONY?! *pouts. nevermind, i shall cry along when i see them in pain :\

ps: gng for retro party tonight! YAYNESSS <3*>

*dry your tears (:

CAPRII-LALAX

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